Moving into this year’s celebration of Mother’s Day I find myself surprised at how at my age I still need the affection and nurture that my mom offers. You may feel the same way when you are faced with life’s inevitable twists and turns. Or maybe when you think of a mother’s love all you feel is a pang in your heart from not ever experiencing this in your own life.

It is totally understandable to react with shock or unease to an unexpected event that you were not prepared for such as when a loved one gets seriously ill, or you are in a car accident. You may connect the word trauma to an experience like this. Other common events associated with the word trauma could be war, assault, or abuse. You would be correct in thinking that these things embody the word trauma, but it only represents a small percentage of what is actually experienced as traumatic in our lives.

Sometimes when your “to do” lists feel unending, the idea of connecting with your partner can feel like one more thing on that list. You would love to just float away to some tropical island and have unlimited time to focus on your relationship, but when you wake up to a blaring alarm, complaining kids, or a snoring partner, the reality of life sets in. You go from task to task only to discover you are two ships passing and some days you might start to wonder, is this is all there is?