Couples Counselling in Surrey, BC
You didn't end up here because things are fine.
Maybe you've been having the same argument for years, and you both know how it ends before it begins (so why even continue?). Maybe there's been a rupture, something said or done that changed the texture of your relationship. Maybe you're not fighting at all, but you're living like roommates and the distance feels like it's growing.
Whatever brought you here, the fact that you're looking is worth something. Most couples wait far longer than they should.
Relationships take work. They’re not like the movies or your friend’s social media feeds.
We know when you met your partner, it was all about late-night talks and dying to spend every minute together. Fast forward to now, you have a partner, but it feels like you're doing this alone.
What Couples Counselling With Me Actually Looks LIke
I work with couples using a research-based framework that takes seriously both the patterns you've developed together and the individual histories each of you brings into the room. I draw from the Gottman Method which is one of the most extensively researched approaches to couples therapy, and from Relational Life Therapy, which is direct, honest, and focused on real change rather than just better communication techniques. Both allow me to work with you and your relationship from a trauma-informed perspective, helping you have a voice and find connection.
What this means in practice: I don't just teach you how to argue more politely. We look at what's actually driving the disconnection, help each of you understand your own role in the dynamic, and give you concrete tools to build something different.
This is For Couples Who
✓ Keep having the same conflict and can't seem to break the cycle
✓ Have experienced a breach of trust, including infidelity, and want to decide whether and how to move forward
✓ Feel more like co-managers than partners
✓ Love each other but don't know how to reach each other anymore
✓ Have individual trauma or difficult histories that are affecting the relationship
✓ Want to build a stronger foundation before things get harder
A word about coming to couples therapy
It takes courage to sit in a room with your partner and a stranger and be honest about what isn't working. A lot of people (especially men) come in skeptical. That's fine. Skepticism doesn't disqualify you from benefiting. It actually can make you more discerning.
What I ask of both partners is a willingness to be curious. About yourself, not just about what your partner is doing wrong. That's where change actually starts.
I see my client in couples counselling to be your relationship, so we’re all doing what we can to achieve your goals for that relationship.
I am also experienced working with couples where one or both partners have a trauma history. If that's part of your story, we can hold that with care.
It doesn't have to stay this hard.
Couples who commit to this process can get to a place that is different from where they started. Not perfect, but real. Connected. Honest. Worth staying for.
I offer couples counselling in person in Surrey, BC and online for couples throughout British Columbia.