5 Ways to Help Mothers Deal with and Productively Plan Summer Vacations

My usual association with summers has undoubtedly been the family vacations when we visited my grandparents. We got a chance to reconnect and bond, and have fun with cousins. Most summer breaks were centered around spending quality time with the family. They were blissful as we had no early mornings or the usual pressures of school, and we could play to our heart’s content and enjoy unparalleled freedom. I eagerly looked forward to them but did feel bad for my father who in order to support the family, still had to go to work throughout our summer holidays. He rarely enjoyed an extended break from work. And my mother never actually was off-duty, as being a homemaker entails working around the clock, with little perks or respite. I indeed feel so lucky and privileged for such an amazing childhood.

Most parents do end up making a lot of sacrifices and adjustments in their own lives in order to cater to the needs and wants of their children. Whether it is a single-parent family or double, each family has its own interesting way of doing things, but summertime can be a bit overwhelming for the parent who is the primary caregiver (which often happens to be mothers). As the children are mostly home, and they need constant attention and be kept engaged, even with limited options sometimes. Mothers, as a result, can end up being overworked and feeling exhausted or stressed. So, here are some useful suggestions for all mothers, which can enable you to parent more efficiently as well as relax and savour the summers with your family:

1.     Practice Self-Care: It is only after I became a mom and experienced the challenges of motherhood myself (with limited support during the COVID-19 pandemic) that I understood the importance of self-care. It initially felt like an alien concept. As a new mother you typically end up always putting the child’s and family’s needs first. Self-care is a must for all individuals, irrespective of their age and responsibilities in life. It goes a long way in improving your productivity and mental well-being. Being exhausted or overwhelmed often can compromise your role as a parent too.

Hence, mothers need to stop putting themselves last on their priority list. Get creative and think about ways to carve out adequate time for yourself. Re-energize, delegate responsibility, ask for and take help when needed. Plan your day with frequent intervals for mental and physical relaxation. Each mother’s circumstances and needs are different, so avoid comparing yourself with other moms and feeling guilty about doing something for yourself for a change.

2.     Be a Mindful Parent: Once you do have your self-care rituals or schedule in place, you can focus on being a mindful parent. Introduce and utilize mindfulness skills in your parenting practices. Just be present in the moment, in the here and now. It can be difficult to tame your thoughts initially as our minds are always thinking, planning, or analyzing the past or future. This results in losing the essence of the ‘present’. Being mindful during the time you spend with your child/children and family can help you focus and relish each passing moment with them, facilitating the creation of wonderful memories. Our being available in the present moment also helps children feel more supported.

Children can sense your absolute undivided attention if you are being mindful, and hence feel loved and cared for deeply. Research has also shown that the children whose parents engage in mindful parenting are less likely to develop mental health issues.

3.     Create Structure: A child’s daily routine is prone to confusion when the schools are off as there is a loss of structure. Family life during the holidays can be chaotic. So, creating and sticking to a routine that works well for you and your child/children can help in the form of fixed meal times and sharing of house chores and responsibilities. Having a proper and predictable structure provides security and stability to children. Sticking to a routine can be challenging but executing it in the form of fun or rewarding tasks can prevent it from being mundane.

The other advantage of having a daily routine is that it provides you with an opportunity to engage in teaching and learning with your child/children. I fondly recall the times I helped my mom in the kitchen while growing up. She shared her life experiences with me, and I liked listening to her talk about her adventures and all the family drama. It was engaging as well as a productive task for me as a child. She also taught me the art of mastering various cuisines and I still use the little tricks and tips she taught me back then.

4.     Plan Outdoor Activities: Many researchers have proved that spending time with nature can boost mental well-being and overall quality of life. As summers bring along abundant sunshine and idyllic weather, explore nature by the way of picnics or family adventures as these activities aid children in understanding the importance of preserving the environment and also provide them with a much-needed break from urban settings. Also, include your child/children in the planning process if their age permits. This process makes them feel heard, empowered, and valued, as it signals that their opinions and thoughts matter. Planning your holidays together is also a great way of strengthening your communication with them.

Being out in nature comes with its own set of challenges and tackling these obstacles together as a family helps children learn about accepting the uncertainties of life and sharpens their problem-solving abilities too, by teaching them about modifying their approach to achieve goals.

5.     Work as a Team: Single parenthood presents its unique issues and hardships but even in a conventional two-parent family setup, it is common to have both the parents working these days. With post-pandemic challenges like high inflation, managing the entire domestic expenditure with just one income is difficult. The general feedback my husband and I have received as we currently look for a daycare for my daughter is that there is an increasing demand for such facilities. With limited options available, we can now only hope to make our way to the top of the various waitlists. In such scenarios, it becomes even more imperative to better co-ordinate and communicate with your partner to share domestic chores and responsibilities as equally as possible, which includes childcare too.  

With the exception of same-sex couples, often women as mothers are expected to multitask and do much more than men as fathers, which is unfair. You must talk about your struggles and limitations with each other every now and then and work out practical solutions by clearly stating what exactly the needs of the child/children are and how they can be fulfilled by you both. Divide and conquer your parenting challenges together, especially during vacations when children can prove to be quite a handful. Take turns picking and dropping them off from their extracurricular classes and work around each other’s work schedules. Flag out events or days when either you or your partner are busy, so that the other person can take over and make up for the absence of the missing parent for that particular period. Taking these steps will not only lessen your workload as a parent but also ensure that your child/children do not miss out and make the most of their vacation.

If you would like help determining what it looks like to care for yourself this summer, or to find ways to be present in what feels like a chaotic time, please reach out. I would be honoured to support you as a mother and individual.