Covid-19 has been a traumatic event
Unprecedented. New normal. Stay six feet apart. Practice social distancing. Stay home from work. Pack your own groceries. Get in the pool with your kid during swimming lessons. Get vaccinated.
There are so many ways that Covid has changed our world. And proof that Covid-19 has been a traumatic event.
This is a statement that I have made repeatedly over the last 18 months. Let me explain. If you have read the blog I posted in July (What is Big T and little t trauma?), you’ll remember that I describe trauma as
an event that is unexpected, you weren’t able to prepare for it, and it was overwhelming at the time. That event then changes the way that you view life or operate within your world.
Chances are that when you think of trauma, you think of it as something that happens to other people. Or that what you have experienced isn’t nearly as bad as someone who has been raped or lived through war, so it can’t possibly be something you can complain about or have to heal from.
And yet this pandemic has likely been overwhelming for you at times and has changed how you operate in the world.
So now what? Does that mean that everyone has to go to counselling because they’ve lived through this? No, it doesn’t mean everyone has, but it does mean that it might feel similar to other experiences that you’ve had, and that could be bringing up some things for you. And you might notice an increase in anxiety. Maybe as you have been isolated from your friends you’ve had to face some of the things that you were pretty good at avoiding before. Or maybe you just have a sense of uncertainty that wasn’t there before.
When we treat trauma in the counselling room, we typically follow the advice of psychiatrist Judith Herman, and work through there are three distinct stages. As I describe them here, consider where you’re at in processing what’s going on for you as you start to recover from the way that the coronavirus has changed your life.
Safety
Before you can start digging into a traumatic event in your life, it is important ensure that you have safety within yourself, your relationships and your environment.
You might feel unsafe after Covid if
You believe differently than your closest friends about whether you should be vaccinated
You feel unsafe in public spaces because everyone is wearing a mask (or if people aren’t wearing one)
Working from home creates loneliness and isolation that doesn’t feel comfortable for you and has caused you to withdraw from relationships.
Some ways that you can start to implement a sense of safety in your daily life.
Practice some mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness isn’t just about taking a deep breath or being zen. Mindfulness involves being in the moment, being aware of what emotions you are experiencing, how your body feels and being aware of your physical space.
Understand what healthy boundaries look like for you. That isn’t just about saying no to things or people, but also understanding what is important to you and why you’re trying to protect it. To learn more about how to do this well, check out our Building Healthy Boundaries group.
Develop tools to help you manage the anxiety that you might feel in a social setting. That could be anything from taking a friend with you when you go grocery shopping to practising grounding tools while you are sitting in your home office and feeling lonely.
Explore why some of the triggers you’re experiencing seem to bring on a bigger response than some of your friends or family are exhibiting. Reading a book like “When the Body says no: the Cost of Hidden Stress” by Gabor Mate or “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk can help. Also meeting with a clinical counsellor can be pivotal in helping you understand your unique responses to traumatic events.
Connect with others. Judith Herman, in her book Trauma and Recovery, states ““Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community. Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection with others.” Finding people that you feel connected to on different levels can increase your sense of safety within yourself and your world.
Remembrance and Mourning
After you have established a sense of safety within your physical and emotional self, your relationships, and your environment, you can begin to process the impact that traumatic events have had on you.
This stage involves a process of reflecting back on the experiences that you have had throughout your life, or through Covid, and understand how they have affected the way that you are currently living.
For some this can be done through journaling, talking with friends or family, and reading some self-help books. The purpose of this stage is to be able to reflect or remember what has happened, go through some grief over what you have lost, and recognize that it has had an impact on you, your relationships, and your sense of self.
If you find that using these methods doesn’t quite provide relief, and actually brings up more difficult emotions or memories, it may be best to connect with a clinical counsellor. When you work with a clinical counsellor, they can help you manage the memories that come up, and help you navigate the grief process over what has been lost in a way that is healthiest for you. One article I found shared that this can involve:
redefining the role that certain Covid or other events play in your life
exploring and mourning any losses you’ve experienced as a result of the pandemic or other traumatic situations
giving yourself the permission to grieve as needed in a safe space
working through the grief with your counsellor and identifying what caused it
identifying any previously repressed, unsolicited or abusive incidents
determining the impact that these incidents might have had on your life
mourning the loss of good experiences or opportunities due to trauma
Reconnection and Integration
The third and final stage of trauma recovery focuses on the your ability to reinvent yourself and establish a positive way of moving forward into the future. By this stage, the trauma no longer has as much power over you and no longer defines your life. The traumatic events you have experienced become a part of the bigger picture rather than the only picture you can see. You don’t forget that you lived through Covid and this process doesn’t take it away, but it becomes part of the story rather than the whole story. By the end of stage three, you are able to recognize how the traumatic event impacted you, but you are ready to leave it in the past in the pursuit of empowerment and living in the present.
If you have read this article and agree that Covid feels like it has been a traumatic event in your life and you would like help processing that so that you can move forward in a healthy way, please reach out to us today. We have a variety of counsellors who have availability and are able to help you in-person and online.
Lisa Catallo is a trauma therapist who works with women and couples as they process and heal from the traumatic events in their lives. As the owner of Panorama Wellness Group, she is happy to support you getting the help you need from our counsellors, acupuncturist or nutritionist so that you can achieve your goals for overall health and wellbeing.
