How to Help a Suicidal Person
John was a 45-year-old man who worked at a steel forging company. He was a doting husband and a caring father. He enjoyed fishing, camping, and motorcycling in his free time. He was known by his coworkers, family, and friends to have a hearty laugh and a generous heart. He was always willing to give a helping hand too. One week, his co-workers noticed that he started being careless at work. He began retreating to his bedroom soon after dinner every night to be alone, which concerned his wife and children. He stopped calling his friends for meet-ups which they saw as usual. Weeks later, John was found dead from a self-inflicted wound in his home garage. His loved ones were left devastated and confused about him taking his life so suddenly and seemingly without warning.
Many Canadians can relate to John’s story. In fact, suicide is one of the top 10 causes of death in Canada (Mental Health Commission of Canada, 2021). During Suicide Prevention Week, we are reminded of these Canadians: our friends, family members, colleagues, and others who struggle with suicidal thoughts. Even though there are many people who struggle with suicidality, there are steps that you can take to assist a suicidal person through their crisis.
First, what are typical indicators of suicidality? Talk of killing oneself, writing about death and dying, dramatic mood swings or personality changes, withdrawal from interests, including social relationships, a change in eating or sleeping habits, and neglecting physical appearance are major warning signs. Others include purchasing or researching about lethal weapons and other means to self-harm, making a will and giving out possessions, engaging in self-destructive behaviour such as reckless driving or excessive drinking, or a sudden episode of calmness after a major depressive episode.
There are risks to suicidality too. Mental disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and alcoholism are found in 90% of people who die by suicide (National Institutes of Health, 2018). Previous suicide attempts, family history of suicide, trauma, terminal illness, chronic pain, grief or loss, and loneliness are other significant risks to suicidality.
If you notice these signs in someone or risks to their mental wellness, you can take the following steps to support them:
1. Start A Conversation About Suicide
Some people may be reluctant to speak up about their concerns to a suicidal person. They may think, “What if I’m wrong? What if this makes them angry? What if this will drive them to hurt themselves?” However, you can’t make a suicidal person take their life by showing you care. You may also be providing them with the opportunity to talk about their hopelessness or sadness which may prevent a suicide attempt.
2. Offer Them Professional Support
Give them a number to a crisis line that has trained volunteers, guarantees confidentiality, and is operational 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Alternatively, you can get them to see their physician for a referral to a mental health professional. If they see a counsellor, psychologist, or psychiatrist, ask them to book a session promptly. If they don’t have a mental health professional relationship, find a counsellor or psychologist who is trained in crisis or suicide prevention counselling.
3. Remove Potential Means of Suicide
If you live with the person, take away lethal pills, razors, knives, and firearms. You may wish to lock medication away if the person is at risk of overdosing.
4. Avoid Stigmatizing, Judgmental, or Blaming Language
When speaking to a suicidal person, incorporate sensitivity and hope into discussions. This can de-escalate and reassure them. Be yourself as well. This could encourage them to take steps to get help and to tell you important and potentially life-saving information too.
5. Follow-Up
Periodically touch base with the person over the long haul. This could be in the form of a phone or video call or a drop-in visit. Your continued interest in their well-being is vital in ensuring their recovery remains on track.
Assisting someone who desires to take their life can be daunting. Yet, doing these simple actions can be powerful steps you can do that can potentially save a life. The person you are caring for may not appreciate your consideration at the time, but they may come to value your intervention and being at-the-ready when no one else was willing or able to help them.
