Ways to Support Your Teen with Depression

Being in a parental/caregiver role may often have you wanting to “rescue” your teens whenever they are going through a tough time. However, sometimes when your teen is going through something such as depression, it can feel out of your control and even their control.

Before I share some ways/approaches that you can support your teen, I want to acknowledge that if you are taking the time out to read this post, you are already taking such a big step to support your teen - you are learning more about how they are feeling and how you can help! These following approaches can also be implemented by other siblings in the home who want to help their loved one(s):

Acknowledge & Ask

One of the first things you can do if you notice your teen has been struggling is by making them feel seen. This can be done by gently saying something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been really sad lately, is everything okay?” Or by directly asking, “how can I help you?” “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Non-verbal support

Something important and helpful to understand about a teen that is dealing with depression, is that they may not want to verbalize how they are feeling, or they may not even know how to put into words how they are feeling. If this relates to your teen, then non-verbal support can be helpful in showing them that you are there for them, without using any words. Some examples of this type of support can be giving them a hug, just sitting in silence beside them, or making their favourite snack or meal for them.

Emotional Validation

Emotional validation is a fancy word which means to reflect back your teens’ emotions and feelings. If your teen is able to express how they are feeling, by listening to them and showing them that you understand, they will feel heard and seen. Here are some phrases of emotional validation: “Thank you for sharing this with me” “Your feelings make total sense” “It’s okay to feel this way” “I am here for you” 

Words of encouragement/positivity 

For someone that is experiencing depression, sometimes even small tasks such as brushing their teeth or taking a shower can be so exhausting. If you notice your teen completing a small task, saying something like “I am so proud of you for [taking a shower] today,” “I imagine it can be hard to get up and go to school everyday when you’re feeling so sad. I want you to know that I see you and the effort that you’re making” can make them feel motivated to do that task again, or even another one. It also shows them that you understand how big of an accomplishment it was for them. 

Safety Planning

When a teen is dealing with depression, they may be having a lot of negative thoughts in their mind. If you notice that your teen is making comments about “feeling hopeless”, or something along the lines of “I don’t know why I’m here”, I strongly advise you to keep a close eye on them while continuing to provide support and non-judgement. You may also want to create a safety plan together with your teen, that helps you both feel safe. It could be something simple such as asking them “If you are feeling exceptionally sad one day and are having thoughts of hurting yourself, who would you feel the most comfortable reaching out to for help?” or “I can imagine you may feel uncomfortable telling me about your dark thoughts, so how about we look into a few counsellors that you could comfortably speak with, and get further support from?” But if you feel that their comments are becoming more concerning, and need urgent support, here are a list of some crisis lines that you can contact, or share with your teen (to contact or speak to) in case of mental health emergencies:

BC Mental Health Support line at 310-6789 (no area code needed)

Crisis Line at 1-866-661-3311 (toll-free) or 604-872-3311 (in the Lower Mainland)

Kids Help Phone at kidshelpphone.ca and 1-800-668-6868

Having a teen with depression or any mental health challenge, can bring up emotions such as sadness and helplessness (among so many others), so I encourage you to check-in with how you are feeling as well. And if needed, provide yourself with that support and validation too, because you are doing the best you can!

Lastly, the Panorama Wellness team consists of counsellors that work with teens, including myself. So if your teen has expressed that they are open to seeing a counsellor, feel free to reach out at info@panoramawellnessgroup.ca to get more information and book a session. We also offer phone and online consultations for youth that would like to have a chat with a potential counsellor first, before booking an initial session!

Chandan