Learn how to set Healthy Boundaries in January 2021

Boundaries. We have all heard the word and have an idea or definition that comes to mind. Maybe it’s a picture of a fence or a wall, the word “no”, or the idea of being closed off. But what if I told you that boundaries also mean being able to say yes? Having boundaries does not mean that you have to say no to everything, and they are not meant to keep people out.

Having boundaries helps you regain your autonomy – that sense of control. YOU get to decide who you let into your life, how much information you share, who you are vulnerable with, who you spend time with, and when you see others. You get to put your needs first, and don’t have to oblige or do nothing when you notice someone is crossing your boundaries.

You’ve read this far and are thinking “I know I need boundaries in my life, but I just don’t know how to set them!”. This is where we are here to help. At Panorama Wellness Group, located in Langley, we are trauma-informed and have a passion of seeing others grow and be their authentic selves. We want to see you thrive and put your needs first. This is why we are offering a boundaries group – a group where you will come together with others who are in the same boat as you. Starting January 11th, we will be exploring what boundaries are and how to set them.

Here is a sneak peek at our program:

“Boundaries start with understanding what is important to you and why. This helps you define what you and who you can let into your life in a way that feels healthy and authentic to you. Having boundaries also means that you are using your words with others. You tell them what your boundaries are, and invite them to be a part of your life while respecting you and your needs. Once you have these parameters in your life and are able to communicate them to others, then you also need support to be able to follow through.”

Through this course you will learn the following:

- What boundaries are

- Types of boundaries

- Boundary styles

- Values and identity

- Difference between boundaries and defences

- How to better communicate

- Practical ways to enforce your boundaries

One of the sayings that I will always remember is “chose guilt over resentment every time”. Have you ever had it where you have said yes to something because you think you have enough time? You squeeze in a coffee date or help pick your friend’s child up from school. You justify why you do it because maybe you were picking up your child from school anyways but did not consider that it would take out an extra 45 minutes of your time dropping them off at home. You have difficulty saying no, because maybe you are a natural helper! You love to help, you feel valued when you are needed, and you feel blessed when you are blessing others. But you have found yourself resenting others. You find that you aren’t enjoying yourself anymore, and that it is actually a nuisance to say yes. You no longer take any “me-time” because you are constantly giving every ounce of yourself to others.

I want to challenge you to choose guilt instead of resentment. Guilt is temporary, but resentment can dig its roots deeper; after time, you may notice that resentment starts to poison the rest of your relationship. You may find that you no longer find joy in saying yes, because resentment has taken its place. You may feel guilty for saying no when you “have the time”. Maybe you are worried that the person you are saying no to will be mad at you, or you risk losing them as a friend. A question you might want to ask yourself is if the person you say no to is willing to give up a friendship that easily, is that person someone you really want in your life? By saying no to some things, you are able to truly give your yes to other things. You will be able to say yes more confidently and in turn, be able to give more of yourself. Wouldn’t you rather have someone help you out because they truly want to and are blessed by doing so, rather than doing it out of resentment?

Our goal is that by the end of this group, you will learn not only how and when to say no, but also understand the why behind it. Your time, your money, your energy, your talents are important. You and your yes matter.

Click here to sign up and join our Boundaries group.

Our counsellors at Panorama Wellness Group are located in Murrayville. and online We are passionate about helping people who have survived traumatic experiences find their voice again as well as helping anyone and everyone discover what healthy boundaries look like in their lives.