7 Ways to Deal with Your Child’s Unexpected Diagnosis
Every child is bound to experience some form of illness as they grow up. This can range from food or seasonal allergies to ailments such as asthma, cough, diarrhea, eye and skin infections, and other infectious diseases. In some cases, congenital abnormalities or birth defects occur. Congenital disorders (CD) are functional or structural anomalies, a few of which like cleft lip andpalate, heart defects, clubfoot, metabolic or endocrine defects, and hernia can be treated through surgical as well as non-surgical options. But Cerebral palsy and Down syndrome are some CDs without a cure. Affecting millions of children globally, these disorders require lifelong care and dedication by the caregivers or parents in question.
Similar long-term resolve is also expected from parents of a child struggling with mental disorders like anxiety, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or learning and developmental disabilities such as dyslexia and autism spectrum disorder (ASD) respectively.Regardless of the illness, the anguish experienced by parents of an unwell child is universal. Since ensuring achild’s safety and health under all circumstances is paramount, parenthood can often be overwhelming. Hence, to help you navigate such strenuous times, here are some essential steps you must follow:
• Take your time to absorb the news: Give yourself time to properly come to terms with the diagnosis and collect your thoughts. It is absolutely normal for one to respond to the diagnosis with confusion or disbelief initially. It might take a few days, weeks, or even months, for you to get a grasp over the situation. Patiently ride out the rollercoaster of emotions and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Accepting things as they are is imperative so that you can move forward and provide the best care to your child.
• Empower yourself with the right information:Learning more about the medical condition of your child is a must. Ignorance can not only be dangerous and lead to further complications but can also cost you heavily in terms of effort and time. With so much medical misinformation online, it is easy to assume things or get carried away by distorted facts. It is better to go by credible resources, preferably recommended by the treating doctor and medical staff themselves. Join online communities or groups that can help you know about the latest developments regarding the disease or disorder. Also, make a list of the doubts or questions you need more clarity on so that you can take them up with the medical team.
• Discuss the diagnosis with your child: Many parents feel protective and opt to shield their child by not disclosing their illness to them. But by not talking about it, they end up doing more harm instead. Communicating to your child in an open and honest manner is always the best way forward as it re-establishes their trust in you and your role as their caretaker. Keeping things hidden never lasts long and does not bode well in establishing positive parent-child relationships. Continue to give them updates about their situation and the progress of the treatment if they are old enough to understand. In cases of lifelong disorders, explain to them about the changes they can expect, as according to their age, their understanding of their illness should also evolve.
• Create your support network: Consider asking a friend or family member to come along for the medical appointments. There is no harm in delegating a few of your chores or responsibilities either or in asking them to help whenever the need arises. Every parent is a human too, with their own limitations. If you have a partner, then work together as a team. Plan out your schedules and share of the tasks beforehand so that your child’s treatment proceeds smoothly. Even if you are a single parent, do not feel compelled to do it all on your own.
• Do not compromise on self-care: Being a parent of an unwell child can be nerve-racking and it is easy to lose yourself in all the commotion. But one must take frequent breaks and carve out some me-time whenever possible. Simple things like taking walks, reading, having a cup of your favourite tea or coffee, or a relaxing bath can go a long way in boosting your mood and inner peace.
• Be mindful of your child’s requirements: It is important to check-in with your children from time to time to get an idea about their concerns and fears regarding their disease or disorder. Have conversations about the emotional, mental, and physical adjustments they need to undertake during the treatment. In cases of lifelong disorders, you need to nurture your child’s feelings of self-efficacy and self-advocacy by helping them take ownership of their medical condition. And above all, let them know how much you love them.
• Seek mental health services: A mental health professional can help you and your family in dealing with the medical crisis better. They can help you process your emotions, suggest healthy coping mechanisms, and identify ways to improve upon your parenting. Family therapy sessions as well as parent counseling are venues you can explore. We at Panorama Wellness provide a conducive environment as well as certified experts, who can provide wholesome solutions for helping your child and you manage these testing times in a positive way.
If you are looking for support as you navigate your child’s diagnosis, please reach out. I offer in person counselling for families in Langley and Surrey.
