How to cope with your home feeling empty now that the children are back to school
Whether you are a first time kindergarten parent, a parent of a new college student or a parent sending your youngest off to school – you are probably experiencing an array of emotions. This is not uncommon! It also isn’t uncommon to feel a bit of relief now that the children are back to school. At this point a few of you are probably throwing fist pumps!
At the same time maybe you are asking yourself what is this new phase of my life going to be like? Or maybe you did not know you would feel such a mixture of emotions. The struggle and numbness that can come with the new quiet in your home and having more time on your hands than you know what to do with can sometimes be overwhelming. Especially if it was unexpected.
Here are a few suggestions and tips on how to cope with finding your way through this new transition and crossroad of having your home feel empty now that the children are back in school:
Find an activity that makes you happy – quite often parenting takes a lot of our time and energy, and there is now free time to search for a new hobby, a new fulfillment, a passion if you will. Imagine discovering something that you never thought you would like to do! What would that look like for you? Before this time there wasn’t enough time for the opportunity to try that new yoga class, or read new books. Perhaps you always wanted to join a club or learn a new language. Whatever it is that you wish to pursue, now is the time to rediscover what makes you happy.
Reconnect with friends, family and your partner – the relationships with your children have been a priority, those relationships are important and the bond is solid because of the time and effort you put into them. Some parents sacrifice their time with friends, family and their partners to focus on their children. Now that they are gone to school or moved out of the home is a good time to plan a coffee date with an old friend, call a relative you have lost touch with or share some quality conversations with your partner to revive and experience a new closeness with your him/her. Use some time to share experiences, express feelings, and just be together in this new phase of life.
Stay connected with your children – before your children left the home, there was a lot of time to connect and spend quality time with them. BUT now that they are either gone to school for 6 hours a day or completely moved out, you may find it a challenge to stay connected. I know one thing I used to do when my oldest started school was leave little notes in his lunch bag so he would find them at recess. For those of you with university students, you could try facetime or other video apps to connect face to face. Perhaps bring back snail mail and send a postcard. If all your children are home for most dinners, make it a routine to have 2-3 dinners together around the table with no electronics,, and ask questions! 😊 Most importantly find a way to express to your children how important it is to stay connected and how much you love them so they understand the value of spending time with loved ones and understand why you are asking them to get together (rather than feeling pressured or nagged)!
Travel – start planning a bucket list, start saving some money and see the places you have always wanted to see. Research the most exciting places and take the opportunity to dream. Perhaps now that the children are in school taking a trip without them is possible? Or if your children are off to university then there is no better time than now to discover the whole wide world.
Although this experience and time in your life may feel sad or empty, that is ok. Allow yourself to feel all the feels and cherish the tears of joy and accomplishments because you are a great parent. Allow this chapter in your life to begin, find ways to appreciate it and welcome it.
You may be asking well how do I do that?
Be patient, enjoy the little moments in your life, accept change and practice gratitude. Remember, there is happiness and fulfillment outside of being a parent, yes it will take some time and I hope this blog will encourage you to pay attention to what is next for you. Think of all the new possibilities and ways to discover things about yourself that you never could have imagined.
If there were things in this article that really resonated with you, please reach out to us here. I provide counselling online and have a flexible schedule including weekend availability and would be honoured to support you as you navigate your emotions and ways of being with an empty house.
