10 Date Night Ideas
As you navigate the new way of being in this world, you may be wondering how to start connecting with your spouse again. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 10 months or 25 years, you know the importance of spending one-on-one time with your partner.
When I sit with a couple who is struggling in their relationship, they’ll often say that they used to go on fun and regular dates, but lost that skill as they added kids, responsibilities and familiarity with each other.
Quite often one of the things that keep us from going out on a date is the perception of monotony. It feels like you can’t think outside of the box and come up with some ideas for a date that aren’t going to a movie or going to your favourite place to eat. And if you’re like me, the coronavirus has made it so I feel like I’ve exhausted all ability to be creative on how to get out of the house safely.
And yet it’s important. Dr. Julie Gottman states that “When you go deep, it becomes a whole different level of conversation that transcends image and goes into the substance of who you really are,” she said. “And that’s how folks can connect with one another and know that this is someone they can respect and care about and maybe trust later and commit to, despite their differences.” (In the book Eight Dates).
We’re here to help you find ways to go deeper, feel more connected, and have some successful date nights. Here are 10 different suggestions for date night. Some are free, some are cheap, and some require a bit more effort or money. We hope that they help you find something to inspire you to get out on a date and connect with your spouse in a different way.
Let us know if you have any success with any of these, or if you have any other suggestions that we’ve missed!
While we don’t normally recommend going on your phone when you are on a date, the Gottman Institute has created an app that gives some great conversation starters for your date or for dinner conversation at home. You can check it out by searching “Card Decks” on your iPhone or Android.
The Raving Gamer is a fun little shop in Langley where you can get brunch or dinner and play any number of board games with your partner.
After the kids are in bed, move all of your living room furniture and put a picnic blanket in the middle of the room. Get some candles, maybe some cheese and wine (or ginger ale) and spend some time talking and connecting. Try to keep it light to start with, until you can feel yourselves relax and then explore the topic of “what are our values”. See what comes up. Be curious about your partner’s values and why they have come to that. The more curious you are, the deeper the conversation can go.
Go downtown Vancouver! Get on the sky train so you don’t have to worry about parking, grab a coffee and be a tourist in the city.
Head to your closest Indigo book store and split up for a while. See who can find the weirdest title of a book, or maybe the most interesting cookbook. Take a look through the travel magazines and talk about where you’d want to go together some day. Just dream for a bit…if money, time and any other things in your life weren’t a factor, where would you go?
Give yourselves each $5.00 and go to the local dollar store. See who can find the most things for $5.00 (and then put them back).
Try out a new restaurant that you’ve never been before, and maybe you aren’t sure whether you’d like the food or not. If you don’t, you can always go to McDonald’s after!
Indulge your spouse by doing their favourite activity. Maybe your man comes to a Christmas market like The Olde Farmhouse with you. Or maybe your wife will go with you to the Motorcycle show.
Have some close friends over for dinner. Connecting with other friends can be refreshing for your marriage if you’ve been so busy that you haven’t been able to see anyone else in a while.
Read a book together. Spend some time in bed together before falling asleep where one person reads to the other.
I hope you have found some inspiration in these ideas! If you would like some help finding other ways to connect in your relationship, please feel free to contact us and book a session with a counsellor that specializes in marriages and relationships.
Lisa Catallo is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and works with women and couples who have survived a traumatic experience. Helping people find connection to themselves and others is a passion of hers. Lisa is also the owner of Panorama Wellness Group and is confident that the therapists in Langley can help you reach your goals for health and wellness.
