What counselling is...and is not.
As a counsellor my ears always perk up when I overhear something like:
“Going to get my hair done is almost as good as seeing a therapist.”
“A glass of wine and my best friend is all the therapy I need.”
Or my favourite might be when I meet someone new and they find out what I do and they say, “you’re not analyzing me right now are you?”
One of the things that I have really appreciated about Covid (and no, there aren’t a lot of things I can say I love about the last year or so) is that it has brought a lot more attention to our mental health, and normalizing the need to get support in this area.
And yet there still seems to be some misconceptions about what counselling is...and what is it not.
What counselling is not:
It is not my counsellor’s job to figure out what’s wrong with me and fix it.
First, you’re not broken, so you don’t need to be fixed. Things aren’t working well, or you’re missing something in your life, but that doesn’t mean you’re broken.
You are the expert on yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else does, but you are just a little lost right now. A counsellor’s job is to walk alongside you and help you find your way back. We are here to ask you questions, poke a little to find out what’s really going on, and help you discover the way to being who you want to be, and to operate the way that you want to operate within your life and relationships.
A counselling session is typically 50 minutes. Once a week. That leaves a whole lot of other time in your week to be in charge of what’s going on. So we want to help you find your voice, and live those other 167 hours to the fullest capacity.
Going to counselling does not mean I am weak.
It takes bravery and courage to reach out and get help when things don’t feel optimal. A lot of people are more comfortable pushing things down or ignoring the emotions that keep coming up. Setting aside time, energy and finances to help yourself heal or find better ways of coping with life takes strength and resilience.
Counselling doesn’t have to be a forever thing.
There are definitely people who choose to see a counsellor for many years. However, for the most part, counsellors believe that it is our job to work ourselves out of a job. That doesn’t mean that once you reach your goals for therapy you can never come back. It just points back to that point of you being the expert on yourself. We want to help you reach your goals for therapy at this time. If and when something else comes up and you want some more support, you are always welcome to come back and get some more support. The time between those events might be 3 months and it might be 3 years.
What counselling is:
Counselling is partnering with my therapist.
When you go to counselling, you gain a partner, confidant and co-worker all in one. As you present what you want to work on, your therapist will help you develop a plan to reach your goals. They are an active participant, so they are asking pertinent questions, helping you know yourself better and where you want to be, and providing you with unbiased, non-judgmental responses to the situations that you find yourself in.
Counselling can be for maintenance and for crisis situations. And anything in between.
Quite often we think of going to see a counsellor when there is something awful happening. If you find out about an affair, or survive an abusive relationship, or have a really bad breakup, you might hear friends suggesting that you might want to go see a counsellor. And yet that doesn’t have to be the only time you seek out professional help. If you are in a long-term relationship, you might want to go for an annual check-up to keep working to keep it healthy and alive. If you find yourself having to make a major decision a counsellor can provide you with an outside perspective and help you see it with fresh eyes.
Counselling is a protected space to be you.
You care for so many people in your life. You wear a lot of different hats, and at times it can be difficult to lean on someone else. Or maybe you have some really good, long-lasting friendships who are great, but they struggle to help you be neutral or have perspective in different situations in your life. Meeting with a counsellor provides you with space to just be yourself. You can cry (or not), be angry with someone you’re “not supposed to be angry with”, process some difficult and overwhelming emotions, thoughts or beliefs about yourself all with someone who doesn’t live in the same house with you or see you every day.
Are you thinking you might be ready to take that step and reach out for counselling? Here’s a bit of information about what the process looks like at Panorama Wellness Group.
The counsellor/client fit is our number one priority. In order to help you find the right counsellor, we provide 15-minute free phone consultations. This allows you to hear the therapist’s voice, ask questions about how they would work with you, and have some confidence in booking that first session.
We send you a questionnaire. This questionnaire or intake form helps your counsellor have a bit of background on who you are and what you’re looking for help with. It gives a lot of information to help you start the first session off further into figuring out what you want to achieve and how you’ll do that together.
You’ll provide more information on what’s going on, and what your goals are. A lot of my clients end the first session saying that they just talked the whole time. And that’s okay. It helps to get background information about where you’ve been and where you currently are so that your counsellor can work with you to formulate that plan on how to move forward together.
You’ll be asked if you’d like to book another session. Since the fit is really important to us, we check in with you to make sure that you feel comfortable with your counsellor, and that it feels like they can help you reach your goals for counselling. If it isn’t a good fit, we will help you find someone who is.
After that, it’s up to you and your therapist to decide how to move forward.
Ultimately, counselling is about helping you be the person that you want to be. That involves providing you with a space to explore what that looks like, be real, and be heard in a way that doesn’t happen in “real life”.
If this sounds like something that you would like to pursue, please reach out to us at info@panoramawellnessgroup.ca. Or check out our counsellors to see if there’s someone that you would like to have a free phone consultation with and take that first step in reaching your mental and emotional health goals.
Lisa Catallo is the Owner & Director of Panorama Wellness Group. She is a counsellor who works with women and couples who have survived a traumatic experience. Our team of counsellors are all trauma-informed and committed to providing you with a safe environment where you can get your voice back and move forward confidently.
