How can we do “small things often” to build our relationship?
What would you define as a “small thing”?
What may make you happy, or feel appreciated?
Small things in a relationship can be something that may take a small amount of time to do, and may be significant to your spouse.
Some of these things can be financially free and could bring happiness to our partner.
Think of coming home from work after an awful day. Maybe you had a customer who was challenging, or a business meeting that may not have ended well. Maybe your car battery ran out and you had to travel longer in the rain, or your child was unwell all night and you haven’t slept a wink. What do you think would bring a smile to your face or a sigh of relief after facing such challenges? What would be some things that you or your partner could do as “small things often” to build your relationship?
Try and take some time to think about what you may appreciate that your partner could do for you. Now think of what you could do for them that is thoughtful.
Some of these things could be gestures, or helping out with a task. These can be known as small things that can help build your relationship.
Some examples of small things that we can do for our partner are listed below:
- Help out with chores
- Help care for children and meet their needs
- Create/keep an attractive environment for your partner to return to
- Show your love using one or more of your love languages
- Asking about what they may like to do or what they may need
- Listen to understand and not just to respond
- Show signs of respect and appreciation
- Think of creative or unique ways to show your appreciation
Help out with chores and help care for children and meet their needs
Children can be a lot of work. So can chores, cleaning, cooking etc. Taking some time to care for the children can allow your partner to have some time to themselves or to complete some errands, can be something that can be significantly appreciated. Perhaps you both have been working and your partner cooks a meal most nights, maybe prepping for the meal and having all the utensils, spices and ingredients prepared in advance can support them.
Keeping an attractive household may include chores such as vacuuming or washing some dishes. In addition, this could also mean keeping surfaces tidy or having a scented home to return to that is visibly attractive and gives a cozy vibe.
Show your love by using one or more love languages. This could be an act of service, giving a gift, physical touch, quality time or words of affirmation.
Should your partner want to talk about their day, or complain about something that happened. Listen. Listen to understand and empathize and not to respond or give advice, unless they want it or ask for it.
Show signs of respect and appreciation. Try to communicate in a way where you are respectful and show love and compassion. Saying “thank you” can also go a long way!
Be creative! Think of ways to show your love and appreciation. Maybe plan a date night, or research for an item that they had said they would order for themselves a month ago. Look for tickets to watch a show or try a new activity with your partner, maybe a fitness class or an art class.
Doing these things can help build our relationship in many ways. We can feel appreciated, cared, seen, heard, and loved. This can bring joy to us and give us opportunities to enjoy our relationships, as well as look forward to spending time and seeing one another. Doing small things is a way that we can perceive ourselves or our partner putting in effort and thought, which can build relationships.
If you would like to get support through in person couples counselling in Surrey, please reach out. You can learn more about me here!
