How to Help Your Partner Achieve Their Goals

Supporting your partner in achieving their goals can be a fulfilling part of your relationship. Ask yourself these questions: Have you or your partner set an individual goal in the past and found it hard to accomplish because your partner did not understand the goal? Or maybe they had no interest in the goal?  Do you feel your partner may have felt unsupported during their journey to success?

It’s possible you answered yes to at least one of the questions above thus the significance of the information to follow.  It’s important to understand that supporting each others’ endeavours whether they are big or small can strengthen your connection as well as individual personal growth.

Here are some strategies to help each other achieve your goals while maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship:

1.        Encourage Open communication (this is important in all aspects of a relationship however can certainly play an important role to achieving goals):

 Communicate goals, dreams and aspirations in detail to your partner. For example, instead of providing a vague descriptive of the goal such as “get fit” or “lose weight” be more concrete with, “prepare and eat healthy meals, exercise for 20-30 minutes a day, drink more water”.  Your partner can then hold you accountable and maybe even join you in the goal.

Be open to any questions the supportive partner may have, be open to suggestions and their perspectives. Be truthful and outspoken about any challenges or vulnerabilities you may be thinking or feeling. As the supportive partner, your active listening and genuine interest can create a safe place for your partner to express their thoughts, feelings and ideas.

2.        Offer emotional support:

Setting a goal can be an overwhelming experience and can involve overcoming challenges, setbacks and stress.  For example, say your goal is to save $1000 for an upcoming expense or trip; maybe setting aside money is the easy part but the temptation to make random purchases and/or buying take out is what sets you back. If your partner is aware of the challenges and urges you have, they can motivate you to not make random purchases and/or help you make meals at home as opposed to ordering take out that would have cost $50.

By both of you understanding and communicating “wants” versus “needs”, this will help you stay on track, build your confidence and boost your resilience to achieve the goal. This can apply to various goals such as studying for a course, starting a new career, losing that dreadful 10 pounds or trying to change a behavior.

3.        As the supportive partner, try to avoid being overbearing and/or controlling:

 This may seem like an obvious strategy however one that is easily overlooked.  It’s important to support your partner without trying to highjack their journey. For example, allow them to follow their plan and make their own decisions.  It is inevitable that your partner will make a mistake or have a slip up.  When this happens, it is your responsibility to offer guidance and suggestions when asked versus trying to control their actions. By doing this, trust is reinforced and more importantly, they begin to believe in themselves to navigate their path to success.

4.         Celebrate wins together:

 Celebrate all wins together as you and/or your partner recognize achievements along the way. This could look like taking each other out to dinner, picking flowers of appreciation, making a cupcake with a candle, or physical touch. Doing these things not only boosts morale in the relationship but can strengthen your bond for years to come. This also reinforces your support and commitment to the goal allowing for more motivation for success.  

5.        Maintain balance and connection:

While all the strategies mentioned above are important, it’s equally important to maintain balance within your relationship.  Be certain to meet your needs, goals and schedule time to spend together to continue to nourish your relationship. This can help both of you feel valued and fulfilled.

Helping each other achieve goals is a journey that requires patience, empathy, fun, honesty and respect. By encouraging each other to communicate effectively, offering an abundance of emotional support and celebrating successes, a nurturing environment can be created allowing each partner to thrive.  Remember you are both in this together and the journey is just as important as the destination.  Good Luck!

If you would like some support in learning how to support your partner as they try to achieve their goals, I provide couples counselling online. You can learn more about me here.