Three Ways To Connect As A Family That Don’t Include A Phone
Are you noticing that at times is has been a struggle to connect with the family? Are you having difficulty getting your child, teen or significant other to engage without technology fighting for their attention? Do you feel a need to make quality time more engaging than social media?
Technology and social media can provide access to knowledge, and help facilitate social connection. However, when it comes to face-to-face communication and family–technology and the accessibility to phones can impede on relational growth, and hinder the cultivation of lasting family bonds. In this modern era, parents and guardians may struggle with connecting with their children and feel as though they are competing with increasingly digital stimuli.
Connection can be most effective at strengthening bonds when technology is not readily available. The creativity required when connecting with family tech-free, may be a challenging buy-in from children and teens–but it is possible. It may seem like your child or teen does not want to interact with you–however, there is a high likelihood that they would welcome more profound connections. There is something powerful about being in the present of people who are actively engaged and forming lasting connections.
The activities I find most beneficial in fostering device-free connections include:
Nature Walk
Going for a walk or hike outside surrounded by greenery, or even just going for a walk around the neighbourhood. Activities that can be done without phones create opportunity for any number of conversations to take place. This activity can also be extended into a day, or even a weekend trip. There are countless benefits to being active and outside in nature.
Additionally, walking in nature creates a shared goal which increases connection. Being in nature has also been found to decrease anxiety and depression. (Lackey et. al, 2019).
There are plenty of resources for finding walking and hiking trails, but All Trails is one that I use most frequently to source hikes in the Lower Mainland.
Board Games
Having a board game night is a great activity for fun and connection–no matter the weather, where phones do not need to be utilized. This also gives the opportunity to chat about any number of topics, without necessarily needing to go into further details that individuals may feel uncomfortable with. Similarly, having a more intense conversation during an activity– could be an effective way to mitigate some of the pressure that can be included in a solely dialogue situation.
Add in the likelihood that there will be some laughs shared–at yourself and others, and you have a recipe for connection and memory building.
Phoneless Dinners
Another activity, could be a weekly dinner with the immediate family–where everyone places their phones in a different room to ensure separation.
An added layer to family dinners–depending on the space and level of enthusiasm, inviting children to participate in preparing the meal can be a team building and creative experience. This could be seen as play, which is a way that children and teenagers connect and communicate, and it adds a fun dimension to dinners.
This may also be an opportunity for children and teens to learn core life skills, to carry with them throughout their adult life.
An important aspect of screen-less communication, is that it may need to be modelled to teens and children that it is possible to be without screens. This modelling begins with you–showing your children that you are okay being away from your phone, curious and engaging with them and others.
If this is the first group activity for your family, you could prepare simple questions beforehand to start facilitating conversation and deeper connection.
In all of this, there is no pressure to show up a certain way, or have it look exactly like these examples. You know yourself and your family best– trust yourself to find what works for everyone involved, and perhaps you will find a new family tradition in the process!
If you are looking for creative ways to connect with your family (that don’t include your phone), feel free to reach out to myself or someone on our team. I offer in-person family therapy in Langley, and would be honoured to help you feel closer to your family. Learn more about me here, or schedule your first appointment.
Lackey, N. Q., Tysor, D. A., McNay, G. D., Joyner, L., Baker, K. H., & Hodge, C. (2019). Mental health benefits of nature-based recreation: a systematic review. Annals of Leisure Research, 24(3), 379–393. https://doi.org/10.1080/11745398.2019.1655459
