What if you aren’t excited for summer?

School is out for summer! The kids are excited and ready for fun! BUT are you, as a parent? The struggle is real especially if you are a working parent with limited childcare or find it difficult to plan summer activities! There are many reasons why parents find balancing out the summer schedule and responsibilities stressful, such as finances, not having “fun” options in the community or not being able to afford to travel because of the increase in gas prices. Perhaps you are a single parent and have other problems to face.  These are all valid challenges and you may also have your own personal battles such as managing anxiety or depression, a recent break up/separation, and just not having the motivation to occupy your children for the entire summer.  

What if you aren’t so excited for school to be out for summer?

The list above may be weighing you down and you may feel at a loss with no way out. There are many parents that feel this way SO you are not alone!

Let’s talk about ways to bring pleasure to the summer weeks and ways to cope with the difficult days. 

First and foremost, schedule time for yourself!

Yes, you read that correctly. You need to relax and rejuvenate yourself. Why? Because if you are tired and your mind is racing, you will not be able to enjoy that time you have to spend with your children. Parenting is difficult as it is, so if you are stressed or impatient it is going to be more difficult. In order to be a fun parent, feeling rested and relaxed will help on those days when your patience runs thin. 

If you are home full time with your children every day of the summer this is a whole different scenario especially if you do not want to be at home. Some parents that get to escape home life to go to work actually find it a break from home and their children. 

If you are a parent that will be home and are finding it hard, sit down with your school aged children and create a list of things they would like to do. This may surprise you! The things you thought they wanted to do this summer compared to what they tell you may help your situation.  Let your children be included in the list, write down all the things each child wishes to do this summer or have them write the list and then come back for a family meeting to create the summer schedule.  Make sure to include ways that each of you can take care of yourselves, so that you’re modelling it for them, while also allowing them to learn how to do this for themselves.

Create a routine

While you are creating the list of things to do this summer, have a chat about daily routines. Your children are used to routine in school so why not continue it at home? Being consistent with a schedule can decrease the stress and the likelihood of morning madness. By having a morning and evening routine, the whole family will have expectations and “rules” keeping everyone in the house on the same page. When and if the schedule gets disrupted or changed because of a family excursion or a weekend away try to come back to the schedule as soon as you return to the home. 

If planning the whole summer is difficult because of other responsibilities, try doing the planning on Sunday mornings or evenings. Remember to schedule appointments, play dates, down times, water time, sports, and most importantly mom/dad time.  By creating a schedule and including times it is more likely that you will be consistent. 

One way of doing this is purchasing a white board with colored markers to make it visible for the entire family to see. You can purchase such boards at the dollar store, Walmart or Winners. Creating less stress for yourself and your children means being able to attend to not only their needs but your own during the hot summer days. 

If finances are a struggle for your family and are causing you to limit what it is your family can do this summer, take advantage of online coupons, or half off days to the water park. Most communities have public swimming at the outdoor pool or the splash pad. Or create your own mini fun water park in your backyard by using a small kiddie pool and the hose, rig up a sprinkler or other fun ideas by asking your children to be creative.  

Keep everyone involved

Keep in mind to use family and friends as support, try to communicate with your partner and children as much as possible to find out what is going well for your family and what is not. Include your children in the discussions to keep everyone feeling important. 

Summer can be an amazing time of year with consistency, regular communications and self care.  If you read this blog and you find yourself becoming anxious and overwhelmed either about summer with your kids or with life in general, please reach out to a counsellor.  You may need help creating a schedule, brainstorming ways to create a summer that best fits your situation or understanding the various emotions you are experiencing, and we can help!