How can you support someone with an injury?

When you have a family member who has been injured, it can often feel like you’re going through some things that others don’t understand.  You now have a role to fill, and you might be wondering how best to do that.

I (Serena Graf, one of the counsellors at Panorama Wellness Group in Langley) get it, and In line with our monthly theme focusing on the family, felt it was important to talk about the ways that family can be involved in the recovery and rehabilitation of an injured person.  

Though not necessarily the case for all people, oftentimes injured people are navigating their recovery at home, and experience changes in their identity and relationships as they cope with pain, scheduling changes, and shifts in responsibility.  Being surrounded by family members who are supportive and empathic often contributes significantly to a person’s recovery, but it’s often hard to know exactly how to be supportive!

Here, I’ll review a few ideas or strategies that may help your loved one during their rehabilitation.  Please note, these are general strategies.  Support largely depends on the individual, your relationship with them, and what their injury is. Every person and injury is different.  

And yet, it can help to start with some generalities and then have a discussion with your family member about what works and doesn’t work for them:

Ask the person how you can be supportive.

Oftentimes the injured person will have ideas of what can be helpful for them or will have recommendations from their doctor, physiotherapist, or other clinicians that you can support them with.  It’s also critical to be aware that just because you think something might be helpful, it may not feel that way for the person.  For instance, taking over all of the childcare responsibilities for your injured partner might be kind and supportive; and, it may contribute to your partner feeling left out of family activities or “less than”.  Being mindful of when you ask or have that conversation with your injured family member is also critical.  When someone is in a lot of pain or struggling to manage a migraine, is likely not the best time to have an in-depth conversation.  As best you can, be communicative with the person and allow them to determine what is helpful for them.

Observe what helps them.

For instance, if your family member is using crutches and has a hard time navigating the collection of shoes on the floor by your front door, it would likely be helpful if you could clear the area as best you can.  If you notice your partner becomes anxious when the phone rings, offer to answer the phone for them when you can.  If your family member has trouble lifting heavy items, offer to move things for them.  Tuning in to what is difficult for the injured person can help them to feel cared for and supported.   They may also appreciate that you have noticed their struggles, and the mere fact that you bring them up could add to their experience of your support.

Help them keep track of and get to appointments.

It is typical for an injured person to have an influx of medical and rehabilitation appointments as part of their recovery.  If it is safe to do so, offering a ride to their physician’s office, to the hospital, physiotherapy clinic, or counsellor’s office might be helpful, especially if driving is difficult for your family member.  Alternatively, helping them write down and keep track of appointments on a family calendar, or writing reminder notes of appointment times and important phone numbers could also make life a little easier during their recovery.  A lot of couples have found it helps to share a calendar through Google or another calendar app so that neither of you has to try and remember to add the appointment to a calendar once you get home.

Support them with pacing or gradually increasing activity. 

Usually, a doctor, physiotherapist, or occupational therapist will provide guidelines for return to activity post-injury.  Sometimes remembering to pace activity can be difficult, so supporting a loved one by reminding them to take breaks, manage pain, or monitor symptoms in line with clinical recommendations.  For example, post-concussion some people have difficulties bending down and standing up quickly, which might make unloading the dishwasher very challenging and symptom provoking.  Reminding your loved one that it’s okay to take breaks or understanding that they may only be able to unload part of the dishwasher at one time, can be a way to support a gradual increase of activity and management of symptoms. 

Listen or give space as needed.

Remember, this process of injury, recovery, and rehabilitation is probably new and difficult for your loved one.  When pain, frustration, difficult symptoms and emotionality come up for the injured person, these things take away from their energy.  Your family member may need to talk to someone about their difficulties without needing you to solve a problem for them; or, conversely, they may need more time alone to cope with their pain and frustrations.  If you have concerns about their mental health and wellbeing, you can encourage them to seek professional help through a counsellor, their doctor, or other mental health professional. 

It isn’t easy to cope with an injury, and the recovery period impacts many relationships and family dynamics.  I hope these tools are helpful and give you a few things to think about when supporting your loved ones through recovery and rehabilitation. 

Serena Graf is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who is passionate about helping people recover from the mental and emotional effects of an injury. She is providing online support and if you are interested in receiving services from her, please contact us today.