How can teens manage time expectations with family?

Especially as the holidays are quickly arriving…It can be a challenge to navigate spending quality time with family and also getting your well deserved rest and relaxation in! Our loved ones sometimes have their own thoughts around how much time we spend with them, what kind of chores they want us to do, and how we spend our time at home. It is important to reflect upon what you have ‘on your plate’, so that you can manage your time in the best way possible.

It is important to :

Understand what is expected of you:

For example, if your loved ones are requesting for you to spend time with them in things like outings, help with chores around the home, assist with cooking/ ect. Understand what the expectations are from the family. Perhaps writing down a list on your ‘notes’ app on your phone or on a note pad. By working through what you need to do, it will help to organize thoughts.

Check in regularly with your family around things that are due, such as assignments or tests.

Have a family calendar; for example, a shared Google calendar that everyone in the family can access.

Set boundaries with loved ones:

This can be really difficult, especially for those who 'people please'! Setting boundaries looks like saying:  “I am busy right now but can we do this at a later time?” or “I need to get this assignment done, but I can make time for this in the evening”. There can also be negotiations happening! If chores are expected of you, try to negotiate a time and way that you would be available to do the chores. No one wants to do chores, trust me, me neither.

If you find that you are able to make the space and time to be available, but you are not available at a specific time, try to work out something different. You can still attend, but it won’t be at a time that is suggested. Or, flat out saying “no”. For example, “Sorry, I cannot commit to that right now, I have ____ going on.” Depending on who you are speaking to, gauge how much or how little you would be open to sharing with them.

It is totally okay to ask for help when YOU need it, too! Our loved ones can be understanding (hopefully).

Spend with the family:

I know, this can be sometimes difficult, especially as you are building up your own independence. One reminder is, our family is getting older… I don’t want to ruin the vibe, but they aren’t going to be around forever.

Try to prioritize spending time with them, be there for things like family traditions, dinner nights, or even card games at night. Heck, bring out those ugly Christmas sweaters!

Set Priorities:

Think about what your priorities are; are your priorities to get good grades?

Being good at your job?

Being a good friend?

Rockin' that cute outfit?

Being good at sports?

Write down what is important to you. Maybe even what you value. This way, you can take a look at where your time is spent most, or areas that you want to spend more time working towards. Perhaps you can communicate these priorities with your family. People are understanding, sometimes it just takes starting that conversation.

If you want to know more on how to manage family time and expectations, please feel free to reach out to us at Panorama!

Citation: https://youthempowerment.com/managing-expectations/