What are the risks and benefits of counselling?
Before you start counselling work with any practitioner, it is your right to know about the possible risks and benefits of receiving counselling. In fact, you’ll find a whole section on this in our consent forms! It’s so important to explore what you can expect, or need to be aware of, in order to set yourself up for success and make an informed decision about whether counselling is right for you.
As a clinician, I’m biased - I think everyone has the potential to benefit from counselling. However, I often hear people describe counselling as, “just talking”, or worse, as “a friend you pay to see.”
Though in most cases counselling is predominantly talking, and ideally your counsellor should be friendly, you shouldn’t be paying your counsellor to “sub in” for friends.
Counsellors are clinicians with expertise in mental health, including gathering information from you based on your concerns and body language, learning about your inner world and day to day experiences, and cultivating a deeper understanding of who you want to become.
You may come to counselling for information, for coping strategies, for emotional support, to learn more about yourself, and / or to formulate a plan to make changes in your life.
Thus, counselling often involves difficult or uncomfortable conversations in a compassionate and structured way. This often feels different compared to conversations with other people in your life because you and your counsellor are collaborating to work towards your goal. Whether you’re working towards a short-term goal or crafting a lifelong journey towards a meaningful life, your counsellor might ask about traumatic memories, difficult relationships, sensitive topics and / or painful thoughts, beliefs and feelings you may be experiencing.
There are two important things to remember about this:
Your counsellor should always have a clinical reason for asking you a question.
You always have a right to decline to answer or talk about certain topics at any time and for any reason.
Let’s explore this a little more.
As counsellors, we are human; we have natural curiosity. However, as counsellors, our questions need to be asked from a place of professionalism and rooted in our duty to help you achieve your goals. We do our best to help you feel safe and supported, and ask questions as part of the process of creating and executing a plan for your care. Especially when you first start working with a counsellor, it’s our first order of business to get to know you so we often start our work with lots of questions! At any time, you have the right to ask your counsellor why they want to know certain things about you or your experiences. Your involvement and interest in the process may help you to get to know your counsellor better, and learn how they approach their work.
With all that being said, you can opt out of answering any question or talking about any subject you don’t want to discuss. You don’t have to explain yourself; “no” is a complete sentence.
Though this may impact your assessment or treatment planning, your counsellor should be able to explain to you why they have asked their questions and how these questions ultimately support your work together. Without a doubt, though, they should respect your boundary and limits regarding changing the subject, skipping questions, or opting out of session at any time.
Another risk--and benefit!--of counselling is that you may experience change. Whether it’s changing behaviour through new habits or ways of responding, or noticing shifts in your relationships and social dynamics, change may be uncomfortable. You are always welcome to discuss changes and how they’re impacting your life in session. Counselling can be a place to reflect, clarify what you want, and find non-judgmental support along the way.
If you’re still concerned about possible risks of therapy, you are always welcome to discuss ways to manage discomfort and risk with your counsellor. Some common risk management strategies include:
Informed consent: this goes beyond the form you sign at the start of counselling. It’s a process by which you and your counsellor discuss how you work, what you want to talk about on an ongoing basis, and how you and your counsellor can honour your needs and capacity from session to session.
Check-ins: when your counsellor notices a shift in your body language, facial expression, or note, they might check in to see how you’re feeling. You’re encouraged to note when you’re feeling uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or simply wanting to change the subject.
Creating a plan: working on a plan for how to support you when you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable before you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable is one way you can boost your confidence in the counselling process and set expectations or hopes for how your counsellor can support you.
Having a code word or gesture: Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed it’s hard to explain what’s going on inside of us. Having an agreed upon word (my favourite is “pumpernickel”) or gesture (like holding up your hand in a “stop” motion) can cue your therapist to stop, give you a break, redirect, or step in with coping strategies to support you in the moment.
There’s not one “right way” to engage in counselling. If in doubt, or uncertain of how counselling might work for you, give us a call and book a free consultation. You’ll get a chance to ask questions about the counselling process, and see if one of our counsellors would be a good fit for you!
Finally, it’s important to highlight the main benefits of counselling. Counselling can bring about a sense of connectedness, safety, understanding, and purpose. Your counsellor can give you information and strategies to help with life’s challenges, provide individualized support, and collaborate with you to identify your values, goals, hopes, and plans for the future. However, you’re the one in the driver’s seat so you set the goals, intentions, and your personal boundaries from session to session. Ultimately, your counselling experience is up to you!
In my work with clients, I emphasize collaboration and informed consent. While you don’t need to have a specific “therapy to-do list” or even a clear sense of your goal when you join our session, I can help to find words for your hopes and experiences, and we can identify realistic goals and expectations for our work together. I work to balance flexibility with accountability to your goals, and cultivating acceptance while supporting your moves towards meaningful change. If you would like to learn more about me and how I work, I’d be happy to have a consultation call with you!
