Return to “Normal” after Covid
As we move towards lessened restrictions in BC, and our communities opening up again, you probably feel a mix of emotions: apprehension, excitement, relief, frustration, grief, and maybe even disbelief. Though there is a sense of lessened fear with COVID-19 cases declining in our province, it makes sense that many of us are feeling some level of anxiety as we collectively try and figure out, “what do we do now?” Many of us are now being invited back to the office or to social gatherings, or are considering resuming parts of our pre-pandemic lives, but we are still largely plagued with uncertainty and / or discomfort as we find a way forward. So, what can we do to help ourselves as we figure out how to return to “normal”?
First things first:
It’s ok to be anxious.
At some point in this pandemic, everyone has experienced anxiety. Anxiety often comes up when we’re faced with uncertainty, and when we’re dealing with what might feel like a dangerous situation – whether it’s truly life-or-death, or just feels that way, anxiety swoops in to help you survive it.
Anxiety can be a helpful tool for reminding us of what’s important, what we need to pay attention to, and giving us the focus and energy to address it; however, when anxiety becomes so intense or frequent that gets in the way of us living life as we want, it’s completely understandable that we’d want anxiety to go away for good.
As best you can, be kind with yourself when anxiety comes up. Anxiety is your body and mind’s best-known way to keep you safe and prepare you for an uncertain world, and none of us have an instruction manual for how to cope with an unprecedented global pandemic and community re-opening. Self-criticism, anxiousness about our anxiety, and complete avoidance of things that make us anxious usually only make us feel worse. So, what can you do instead?
Accept that normal won’t feel “normal” – at least not right away.
When we take time away from what we “normally” do, resuming that activity usually triggers apprehension and sometimes fear. For example, if you hadn’t driven your car for 3 months, or hadn’t played soccer for a year, you would probably wonder: what’s it going to be like going back? Will I remember how to do it? Will I be as good as I used to be? These are all completely reasonable questions and feelings. Please remember that as you navigate a return to work, return to activities, a return to “normal” life: just because it doesn’t feel normal yet, does not mean it never will. With time, patience, and the courage to try, we can move towards lifestyle changes and settle into them as we need.
Be clear on what you’re comfortable with.
Just because masks are no longer mandatory in some spaces, doesn’t mean you have to stop wearing them. You can choose to continue to isolate, or not attend large gatherings—or maybe this is something you’re really excited to do, and re-opening across the province feels like a relief. Wherever you are in this process, I encourage you to take note of what feels okay (and what doesn’t) as you navigate these changes. Knowing what level of masking, social interaction, and return to “normal” you’re comfortable with is important to ensure you are caring for yourself as best you can and is crucial for communicating your needs to others.
In turn, it’s important to note that not everyone will feel the same way, and that’s okay! My hope for you is that you are able to care for yourself by honouring your boundaries and comfort level as we go.
Start small.
Chances are, as we resume activities we once frequently enjoyed, we’re going to notice changes in ourselves. Perhaps going to the grocery store is much more tiring than it used to be. Maybe trying to socialize with 4 or 5 friends at once will feel dizzying and difficult to follow. It’s possible that going back to your job site or attending an in-person workout class will feel like too much to handle on the first day. I urge you to be kind to yourself by starting the re-entry into “normal” life slowly. Be mindful of how you feel around larger groups of people. Notice if keeping up in conversations is difficult. Be aware of any heightened tension, nausea, headaches, or other physical cues your body may be giving you about your stress in a given setting. Though stress and change are unavoidable in life, we can be kind to ourselves by working towards these bigger tasks by breaking it into smaller pieces first and managing our energy so that we don’t become exhausted. What I say to myself and to many of my clients is…
Consistency over intensity.
When we aim for being consistent in both caring for ourselves and in working towards our goals, we are better able to manage stress, fatigue, and our mental and physical wellbeing. This is especially true if we’re feeling anxious about returning to “normal” life. There are a number of ways we can reduce or increase the intensity of tasks over time based on where we’re at, including:
- Frequency: doing something more or less often (e.g. going for a walk once a week or twice a week)
- Amount: doing more or less of something (e.g. walking for 1km or 2km)
- Intensity: increasing or decreasing the demand of a task on our physical, emotional, or cognitive resources (e.g. walking 1km at a faster or slower pace)
- Starting with alternatives: identifying activities that help build us up towards a target goal or activity (e.g. walking around our home, our driveway, or our neighbourhood before going out to walk around a park or mall)
Be mindful of what “normal” means to you.
You’ve probably noticed that throughout this post, I’ve put normal in quotations. That was intentional because there’s no universally agreed upon definition or understanding of what normal means in the context of people’s lives. What looks and feels normal to you and your community may look and feel very different from what others would consider normal; that was true before the pandemic but is especially important to keep in mind now.
“Consider whether there were parts of normal life before the pandemic that you would like to leave in the past. ”
I urge you to consider whether there were parts of normal life before the pandemic that you would like to leave in the past. I encourage you to be curious about how normal life might be better if we bring more intentionality and awareness into our lives and make changes that work for us. In no way am I trying to ignore or discount the grief, fear, loss, and disorientation that came with the pandemic—all of that is very real, and it has changed all of us in one way or another. What I invite you to think about is what we can do now to make life moving forward more practical, sustainable, or pleasant as we look towards the future. Could you carve out more time to spend with the people you missed most during the lockdown? Would you consider changing jobs or careers? Will you ask for a raise, or change your work hours, or change your approach to holidays and vacations? Do you wonder what life would be like if you could create more balance or boundaries in your life moving forward?
It has been about a year and a half of this new pandemic life; we’ve all had to shift our lives and habits tremendously, and whether or not it’s felt comfortable, it’s something we’ve adapted to. Thus, it makes complete sense that these changes will feel strange and tiring at first. It’s also important to note that this pandemic has been a collective trauma--an event that was unexpected, largely negative, out of our control, and changed how we moved through the world--so what feels safe at this time may look and feel different for everyone. If you find yourself looking for additional support or services, one of our practitioners would be happy to help you.
Serena Graf is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with Panorama Wellness Group. She provides online counselling and does her best work with elite athletes, people recovering from mild brain injuries and first responders.
