Thinking about negative thoughts

Have you noticed your thoughts are more negative lately?  There’s a connection between negative thoughts and mental health and, to no one’s surprise, an all-time high number of Canadians are reporting that they are feeling anxious and depressed; more people are even being diagnosed as such.  According to the MHRC, 20% of Canadians recently reported they’ve been diagnosed with depression and another 20% with anxiety…a full 4 percentage points higher than prior to the pandemic!  

What’s the connection of our thoughts to our mood/mental health?  It’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg debate but, as a therapist, I don’t think I have ever had a client present with anxiety/depression symptoms who did not report having an imbalance of  negative thoughts.  These thoughts can develop from being criticized, bullied, neglected, abused, or any  type of trauma.  They can be developed when we are young and trying to make sense of the world.  When we are little, we are trying to manage a myriad of information coming at us and in order to make sense of it all, we must begin to filter this information. For a variety of reasons, we don’t always get it right.  We can interpret, filter and presume things that may be partially correct, distorted or even outright wrong.

However such thoughts and beliefs develop, they may not be initially problematic. If we occasionally have some distorted thinking, the balance of our thoughts are still positive and these negative thoughts are more easily refuted. However, if there’s a lot of uncertainty, stress, confusion in our lives (like in a pandemic) we can end up with more negative thoughts and it can be harder to challenge each one. You know what it means to wear rose coloured glasses? Imagine if the lenses were grey. Everything you perceive, recall, and anticipate is filtered through the grey and gets a negative wash - it’s distorted and not factual. Even if your thoughts have a grain of truth to them, they may not be valid. 

These unchallenged distorted thoughts can have an impact on you.  You may notice that these thoughts leave you feeling uncomfortable emotions.  Feeling more anxious,  sad or  depressed may become apparent.  If you think you are a “failure” because you didn’t do something perfectly, anxiety can creep in as you may worry that this “failure” means that you can never be successful. If you assume everyone thinks you are “no fun”, you can start to feel like nothing you do will change how people see you and start to feel hopeless and/or depressed.

So how can you begin to manage these impactful, negative thoughts?

Increased awareness is usually the  beginning of change.  Once you’re aware of what you’re experiencing you can determine if you need to make some changes.  This is how change starts.  Beginning to observe your thoughts can help increase your awareness of what you’re thinking.  We don’t often spend time thinking about our thoughts.  We don’t stop to reflect on whether our thoughts are serving us well or whether they are even rational.  We assume that our thoughts are true especially if they feel or seem true.  By beginning to think about your thoughts you can start to reflect on whether your thoughts are helpful and if they are valid or true.  

By reflecting on what you are thinking, you may notice that you are experiencing some of the typical distorted thoughts or “cognitive distortions” associated with anxiety and depression.  Some of the common cognitive distortions include: 

All or nothing at all  thinking  -  “I must always be perfect or I am a failure” 

Overgeneralizing - “Because I was bitten by a dog when I was little, all dogs are dangerous”

Jumping to conclusions- “Everyone in my class will think I’m stupid if I ask a question”

Catastrophizing - “If I’m late for work I will be fired, default on my mortgage, lose my home and end up living in a van down by the river with some cats”

If, upon reflection, you determine these thoughts are not in your best interest, you can challenge them! Many of these thoughts contain absolutes like always, never, all or nothing.  When your thoughts include such language, you can look for exceptions that challenge these beliefs even if they feel true.  Are there other possible outcomes other than the worst case?  Is it possible that you can’t really read other people's minds?  Could there be some dogs that aren’t dangerous?  You can also reframe such thoughts to mitigate their negative impact.  Reframing might look like reminding yourself “I don’t have to be perfect to be a success!” or recounting all the ways that you are already a success.  

Negative, distorted thoughts can lead to feelings and moods such as anxiety or depression but learning to manage these thoughts can help improve your mood.  Making your unconscious thoughts conscious gives you a chance to intervene.  Observing what you are thinking  allows you to  begin to recognize, categorize, challenge and reframe your thoughts so they have less negative impact.    It can be challenging to manage your negative thoughts on your own and a therapist can help. As a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in helping  people who are up against anxiety/depression, we could work together to develop the skills to manage your thoughts and feelings better.