When the Past Still Feels Present: How I’ve Seen EMDR Help People Process Trauma

One of the things I hear in therapy is some version of:

“I know it happened in the past, so why does it still affect me this much?”

You might logically know that an experience is over. You might understand why it happened or have spent years trying to make sense of it. And yet, something in the present can bring those emotions right back. It could be a conflict, a certain tone of voice, a thought, a place, or even a feeling in your body. Suddenly, what happened in the past doesn't feel so far in the past anymore.

Sometimes people come to therapy believing they're stuck because they've carried something for so long.

This is one of the reasons EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy has become such a meaningful part of my work with trauma.

Sometimes Understanding What Happened Isn't Enough

Talking about our experiences can be incredibly valuable. Understanding where our patterns, fears, or beliefs come from can help us develop compassion and awareness for ourselves.

But I've also seen people reach a point where they can explain exactly why they feel the way they do and still feel it.

I know I'm safe, but I don't feel safe.

I know it wasn't my fault, but part of me still feels like it was.

I know I'm good enough, but I don't believe it.

EMDR gives us an opportunity to work with more than the story. We can pay attention to the memory, thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and body sensations connected to an experience.

Watching Something That Felt Stuck Begin to Shift

I've worked with clients who had never heard of EMDR before coming to therapy. Some of the most meaningful moments I've witnessed have been when a client realizes that something that once carried so much emotional intensity simply doesn't feel the same anymore.

The memory hasn't disappeared. They still know what happened. But their relationship with what happened can begin to change.

A negative belief about themselves may not feel as true. A memory may feel further away. Something that once brought intense emotion or activation may carry less of it.

Sometimes clients are surprised by the shift because they had come to believe that how they felt was simply how they were always going to feel.

I've seen EMDR support people working through different kinds of traumatic and distressing experiences, and it continues to remind me that feeling stuck doesn't necessarily mean that you are stuck.

Some of the Most Powerful Work Happens Before Processing

Something else I value about EMDR is that we don't just jump straight into processing trauma. Preparation and resourcing matter.

One resource I've seen be particularly meaningful is the Safe/Calm State. Each person identifies a place that feels uniquely safe or calm to them. There isn't a place I choose for them, and there isn't a “right” answer. The place belongs entirely to the person.

I've had the privilege of watching clients connect with their Safe/Calm State and begin to settle. Their breathing may slow, their body may soften, or their level of activation may begin to shift.

I find those moments incredibly powerful because they remind me that trauma therapy isn't only about revisiting what hurt.

It's also about developing the capacity to experience safety, grounding, and regulation in the present.

When the Past Feels Present, Come Back to the Present

When I notice someone becoming activated or overwhelmed in session, one of the simplest things I may invite them to do is take a few slow, deep breaths.

It sounds simple, but sometimes we need a moment to slow down and reconnect with where we are right now. I may also invite someone to notice their feet on the floor, feel the support of the chair beneath them, and look around the room.

The goal isn't to force an emotion away or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling. It's simply an opportunity to notice your breath, your body, and your surroundings and gently reconnect with the present moment.

You are here, right now.

This is something you can try outside of the therapy room too. If you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a few slow breaths and notice what's around you. Rather than trying to immediately get rid of what you're feeling, see what happens when you give yourself a moment to reconnect with where you are.

EMDR Isn't About Erasing Your Story

EMDR doesn't require you to tell me every detail of a traumatic experience in order for us to work with it. And trauma processing isn't something we need to rush into.

For me, EMDR is about working collaboratively and at a pace that honours the person sitting in front of me.

Perhaps this is what I find most meaningful about watching people process trauma:

The goal isn't to erase what happened. It's to help the past feel more like the past, so it can have less power over your present.

If you've experienced trauma, anxiety, difficult memories, or patterns that continue to leave you feeling stuck, EMDR therapy and trauma counselling may be something worth exploring. I offer in person and virtual counselling through Panorama Wellness Group in our Surrey office. You can learn more about me here. I’d love to help you change your relationship with your past.